Thursday, May 9, 2013

My Book of Laws for Finals

1.  Purchase Refreshments
          This step is CRUCIAL in your studying adventure.  For drinks, the ordinary choices are coffee or soda.  If you're feeling particularly classy, you can also brew up a nice cup of tea.  Unless you're able to handle the crash, I would not recommend any energy drinks.  They're great for about an hour, then you crash faster than Ticketmaster when One Direction tickets go on sale.
          Moving on to food (MY FAVORITE PART).  If you're going for the unhealthy, fun way; get ready to buy anything and everything with sugar.  Number one on my list: Nabisco Products!  I'm talking lots and lots of Oreos, Chips Ahoy Cookies, Teddy Grahams, and Cheese Nips.  Oh, and don't forget the pixie sticks.  THOSE are very important.  If you're more of a health nut and willing to pay a few more bucks, go for fruits and vegetables.  Easy-to-snack-on grapes and blueberries are a must.  I'd try to stay away from juicy, whole fruits like apples, pears, and peaches.  They're kind of like toddlers: They take a lot of attention and all they do is make a mess.

          Rules for Refreshments: Eat when you want to eat.  Even if you're not hungry; eat if you want.  This, my friend, is where the freshman fifteen comes into play.  I wouldn't worry about it too much, though, you have the entire summer to work it off.

2.  Find a Study Place
          There's a lot of different places where you can study, and it all depends on where you'll be able to focus the most.  If you're able to work in your dorm room and not feel drawn to your bed; then more power to you, but a lot of people can't handle it.  For the people who need absolute silence: I would recommend your campus library.  It's quiet and filled with books!  Now, if you're like me and can't stand the stuffy, old-person smell for more than an hour, spend a little on gas and drive to your closest Starbucks or other 'cafe'.  My favorite place to study is Barnes and Noble, AND they have a Starbucks in the store: DOUBLE POINTS.

          Rules for Study Places:  Bars, clubs, and zoos are not proper places to study.  They may be your favorite place to visit, but if you want to pass your finals: avoid, avoid, avoid.

3.  Destroy All Procrastination-Inducers
          Okay, don't actually destroy them.  That's such a harsh word.  Why don't we use: hide them in an inconspicuous place that you don't know of, but can possibly find later.  My advice; get your roommate to help.  Have her (or him) hide your cell-phone, Ipod, Ipad, Kindle, or (in my case) writing notebook in a place where they'll know where it is, but you won't.  This will guarantee that both of you will get your studying done without distractions!

          You may be asking: "But what if it's a person that won't leave me alone?"  It's kind of hard to hide someone when they feel the need to sit (or stand) and disrupt your studying methods.  You can try the polite way: "Hey, (Person's Name), I would love to sit and chat, but I've got a couple big tests coming up.  Could we possibly meet-up another time?"  This calmly awares the person of your discomfort and creates a plan for future 'get-togetherness'.  Another, funner, method is to just plain let your frustration out on this, said person. For example, your "friend" (note the quotation marks) just started talking about the current love triangle they're stuck in, while you are trying to understand the numerous geometric triangle theorems that you need memorized in under 24 hours.  Your reaction may go something like, "HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD. (The Goonies reference) COULD YOU REMOVE YOURSELF FROM MY PRESENCE OR FOR THE VERY LEAST SHUT UP?  I'M SORRY THAT YOUR LOVE-LIFE SUCKS, BUT GUESS WHAT: LOVE IS LIKE MATH; A SIMPLE IDEA, BUT IT CAN GET VERY FREAKING COMPLICATED.  AT THE MOMENT, I WOULD LIKE TO CONCENTRATE ON MY COMPLICATED MATH AND NOT YOUR COMPLICATED LOVE LIFE."  Hopefully, by this time, the other person would have realized they were not welcome and get the hell away from you.  This is advantageous in the fact that it lets you get your anger out, but disadvantageous in the fact that you will probably lose a friend.  
          Rules for Distractions:  Stop at nothing to 'destroy' these.  Any and all means must be used to create a procrastination-free environment.

4.  Take Breaks
          Even though studying is essential; make sure you take breaks every hour or so.  This prevents you from going completely crazy and possibly dying.

(Too Late)

          Every hour, take a few minutes to look at your phone, watch a funny video on YouTube, or brew another cup of coffee (See Step 1).  I'd also recommend that  you take a longer break every 3-4 hours.  Sync your studying schedule with your friends, and go out to lunch or dinner.  Or you could do what my friends and I do and just run around like idiots.  Whatever you do: Enjoy because after 10-20 minutes, you have to get back to work.
          Rules for Breaks: Go. Crazy.  This is your time: seize the moment!

5.  Have Confidence
          If you don't believe you can do it, then you're right: you can't.  Come on! Shape Up!  Stick your chin up in the air and be confident.  Even if you're 99% sure you're going to fail, DON'T LET THE WORLD BELIEVE IT!  Turn the swag on and kill that test.

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