Wednesday, August 6, 2014

It All Began with a One Direction Notebook

I'd never been much of a writer.  During my first year at college I had a tough time transitioning into the 'young adult' life that I had jumped into.  My parents could tell, my friends could tell, and I could tell that I needed to find a way to handle all the new stress coming in.  Taking the initiative, I set-up an appointment with a personal counselor on campus.

Such a beautiful campus :)
I'm not going to lie; I always found this whole counselor thing kind of stupid.  Laying on a couch and sharing my feelings with a complete stranger didn't sound at all appealing.  Nonetheless, a week after making the appointment, I found myself sitting (not laying) on a couch with Counselor Craig (not his real name) taking notes in front of me.  After a little bit of small talk, he asked me to make a list of the top 10 people in my life.  So I did just that: starting with my parents, brother, aunts, cousins, uncles, roommates, friends; listing the people I hold dear to my heart until I reached 10.  He then said something that made me want to face palm myself with a brick.  He said, "So would you be number 11?".

Touché, Counselor Craig… Touché…

For the rest of the hour, we talked back and forth on my need to please everyone other than myself; starting with my want to quit golf.  By the end of our fall season, I'd begun hating the sport.  Actually, loathing the sport would be more like it.  I hated going to practice, going to meets, or even picking up the clubs.  It wasn't fun for me anymore.  People kept saying, "Stick with it for the year" and "You'll regret it if you quit".  After a year and a half, I'm happy to tell those people I have yet to feel any regret from my decision.  I made that choice for myself and no one else.  I can't let other people live my life for me: not my enemies, my friends, or even my family.

Another thing we talked about was my sleep struggles.  I've always been quite the sporadic 'thinker', and sometimes I would find myself at two in the morning with a plethora of thoughts to keep me awake.  Counselor Craig recommended I start writing in a journal every night.  On the outside I was all like, "Sure!  I'll give it a try!", while on the inside I was rolling my eyes, booing, and throwing tomatoes.

Write? Me? If any of my past English teachers are reading this, they'll know exactly why I detested this idea.  Like I said at the beginning, I'd never been much of a writer.  Not only have I never been pegged in the classroom as the 'creative one', I also have a multitude of grammar issues.  Number one being my inability to correctly place commas.  I've researched and researched, but commas and I just don't understand each other.  (It's a mutual hatred).
Where it all began: Photo courtesy to my brother
Nevertheless, I utilized my extra One Direction notebook and started writing all of my crazy thoughts onto paper.  About a week after starting, I began to look at my entries with a different light.  I had written something that I kind of wanted to share with people.  In my senior year of high school, we were asked to create and post in a blog.  I thought back to that experience and thought, "Why not? If anything I can keep it private and just send it to my parents." 
An old header that my amazingly talented friend, Taylor, drew for me!
When I first started my blog it was called Life by Lizard, and it was a therapeutic journal that I turned to when I needed to get something off my chest.  Never getting more than 5-8 views on a post, I kept my audience small with just my roommates and family.  Slowly but surely, though, I realized just how wide and rewarding the blogging community was.  At this point I was hooked.
I didn't think I could get any more excited at this point
I changed the blog's name to Lizzy's Luggage, learned how to code and design, and started posting more and more.  The blog changed a bit about halfway through its existence, and I started blogging everyday through the summer of 2013.  When school started up again, I took a bit of a break from blogging.  While still writing nearly everyday, I started blogging less and less.  I got too wrapped up in the blogging 'industry'.  At this point I knew I needed to go back to the real reason I started the blog: to keep myself sane.
Throughout the years, I've received quite the reaction after telling people about my blog.  I've had people mock me and ask me my favorite question, "Why do you keep blogging when no one reads?  How is it worth it?" If I blogged for anyone other than myself then yes, I would have quit a long time ago.  I keep this blog around because I want it to be around, and I have no reason to be embarrassed by it.  If I'm able to put a smile on even one person's face or make them feel comforted to know someone else feels the same way they do; then I have succeeded.

I'm not the most talented writer, but now it's the best way to keep me sane.  Thank you to everyone and anyone who has stuck with me through these past 30,000 views.  I hope you found what you were looking for in my little corner of the Internet.  Here's to 30,000 more!

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