Good Enough

                “Thank you for your interest in the *** position.  We regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you the position at this time.  Due to the large response of highly-qualified applicants, we were only able to offer a small fraction of applicants a position.”

                Am I the only one who has ever received a letter or an email with these words or words like them?  I’m about 99.9% sure that I am not.  Being rejected and told ‘no’ is a fact of life, and no matter how much we prepare ourselves for it, it still sucks and can sometimes bring tears.  I, just like everyone else, have had my fair share of rejection letters and emails.  The most recent one was from last night.  I received this email on Thursday night after a very relaxing snow day.  I slept-in until 11, watched movies, ordered pizza (so I never had to brave the cold), and hung out with my awesome roommate all day.  By the end of the night, I was feeling refreshed and just down-right happy… until I opened my email.  I had just ordered something off of Amazon and was looking for the confirmation email when I saw the email marked ‘unread’.  I knew that it was either my acceptance or rejection letter.  Instantly, the nerves began to rise, my hopes began to soar, and my expectations heightened ever-so-slightly.  As soon as I opened the email, however, all of those things hit the floor instantly.  While I read the words I knew I had to call my parents.  Being it after 11 o’clock, my dad immediately worried that something bad had happened.  I’m sure my shaky; full-of-tears voice didn’t help the matter.  Once I explained, both my mom and he were very understanding of the circumstances.  So there I was, a supposed independent college student, in the middle of the hallway of my residential dorm crying to my parents about being told ‘no’.

                The main thing that surprised me was that I WAS crying.  I was blown out of the water even when I got an interview, and I knew that I was a little young to even be considered.  Another thing, once I got the interview, the reservations began.  I started to think about whether or not this was a good idea.  I started to wonder whether I could handle being that far away from home for that long.  Was I truly ready for that big of a commitment? Honestly… I don’t know, and I will never know.  I do know that my plans for this summer are not going to involve me living in Washington DC, though.

                However, let’s look back at WHY I was crying.  Reread my first paragraph.  By analyzing it, we can see that this summer position receives a lot of applications, and that it is very competitive to gain a position.  Also, we can concur that they believed I was not ‘right’ for the job.  When I read it, I didn’t see “large response” or “small fraction of applicants”.  No, when I first read that sentence, all that was screaming out to me was “You’re not good enough.”  And sadly, it’s the truth.  I was not good enough to beat out the other applicants.  Reasons behind this? Maybe they’re older, more independent, and/or more experienced.  Maybe they wrote two kick-ass essays for the application, or maybe they handled themselves much better in the phone interview (I absolutely despise phone interviews).  The reasons behind me not getting the job could be huge, but they all mean one thing: I was not good enough.

                So there you have it: I was not good enough, and guess what my reply is: Okay!  Sure I wasn’t good enough at this current moment, but who’s to say I won’t be good enough next year?  You think I’m going to give up just because I got told no?  If you think that, then you don’t know me at all.  But look at it in a different light; I wasn’t good enough for this job.  Maybe I’ll never be good enough for this job!  Who’s to say that God doesn’t have a better plan for me this summer or future summers?  I may not have been good enough for this job, but you can bet I’m perfect for the job of helping in the new family business.

               So, as you can see; I’m not very bitter about this rejection.  Yes, it still upsets me, and I truly wish I would have gotten a chance at this amazing experience, but I wasn’t good enough for it.  Maybe next year… or maybe not.  I’ll follow whatever path God makes for me, and currently that path leads home for the summer.  I want to thank everyone who helped me last night and today.  My family and friends have helped me not really ‘get over it’ or ‘forget about it’; but instead, see the light of the rejection.  I may have been rejected, but I wasn't stopped.

And who knows??

Maybe I’m meant for something even bigger.